


Tanaka- Pervert

by ishouldntdothis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Boys Talking About Girls, Boys Will Be Boys, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Team Bonding, They're all dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 23:06:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4540881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishouldntdothis/pseuds/ishouldntdothis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story behind how the idol poster in the club room got its labels. It's not an important story, but a story that needed to be told.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tanaka- Pervert

Tanaka sighed to himself as he got ready for practice in the club room. With Ennoshita, Narita and Kinoshita rejoining the team, the dream of rebuilding Karasuno finally seemed within their grasp. How could they have ever anticipated the Date Tech High match and its aftermath? Ever since Nishinoya and Asahi left, there had been a deep void in the team's dynamic that had started to weigh heavily on the players. The stress of the situation had left their normally boisterous Tanaka unusually reserved and sluggish. He sat quietly on the floor as heard the voices of his seniors drawing near.

"Suga, I swear if you don't shut up I'm going to spike this volleyball at your face! I don't even know what you're going on about. I wasn't looking at her in any way!"

Tanaka could hear Sugawara cackle as he opened the door to the club room. Sawamura's cheeks were red with anger and embarrassment. "I should make you run double today--oh, hey guys! You're here already," Sawamura said, surprised to see his juniors already set for practice. He scratched the back of his neck. "Tanaka, you've been especially on time lately."

"Yeah," Tanaka responded passively, not looking up from his place on the ground. "What were you guys talking about just now?"

Suga unsuccessfully tried to stifle a giggle as Sawamura glared at him. He gave Sawamura a pointed look as he nodded towards the sad wing spiker. The captain shook his head and Suga rolled his eyes, looking around the room for a distraction.

"Oh, is that a new idol poster?" he asked. The poster was of six attractive girls in their bathing suits. Even though none of them particularly liked the television show the girls were on, the team had all agreed that they were a welcome addition to the otherwise bland club room. The new summer poster had replaced the winter edition where the girls had all been in their snow bunny gear and therefore were now showing off a lot more skin.

"Yeah, Kinoshita picked it up this weekend when he was in the city," Narita answered.

"Yu loved that show," Tanaka said aloud to no one in particular. His depression over his teammates' departure was showing no end in sight. Ennoshita gave Suga a pleading look, hoping beyond hope to find something to take the team's mind off their loss. Suga started to shrug when suddenly an idea hit him.

"Speaking of idols, you guys notice there are six of them and six of us? A girl for each of us! In fact, I see one already" He got out a slip of paper and scribbled something on it. He walked over to the poster and taped his note to one of the girls.

"Likes big boobs- Daichi" Kinoshita read, slowly saying each word. There was a pause as everyone digested the information before the whole team burst out laughing-- everyone but their captain.

"SUGA! What the hell!" Sawamura yelled.

"Because of the girls' captain, Michimiyma, right? He's always staring at her," Ennoshita said, wiping a tear of laughter from his eye.

"Wha-bhu- I-I do not!"

"Yeah, her chest is almost as big as Tanak's sister's!" Kinoshita laughed.

"Don't you dare ogle my sister's boobs!" Tanaka angrily replied, punching Kinoshita in the arm.   

"Daichi, you're my best friend. I have nothing but the highest opinion of you! But believe me when I say, _you are not subtle in the least_ ," Suga said. "Take today, for instance. We ran into Michimiya on our way over to the club room. She was on her way to change for practice and was only wearing a tank top and her uniform skirt. You know how enthusiastic she gets when she talks, bouncing up and down and using a lot of arm gestures... I'm surprised Daichi said one word. Seriously though, I don't know how she's so blind that you're into her! It's so obvious!"

The rest of the team started laughing again as Sawamura furiously ripped a slip of paper and wrote his own note to pin on the idol. They calmed down as they read the new label. Suga blanched as Ennoshita read the note. "Likes older women- Suga." A smirk crossed his features. "I get the feeling there's a story behind this..."

Daichi grinned evilly. "Suga has a slight problem around some of our better looking teachers here at Karasuno. You guys know Yoshida, the Home Ec teacher? Well, poor Suga couldn't talk to her last year without popping a semi."

"Wait, didn't you just talk to Yoshina last week? I saw you coming out of the Home Ec kitchens before my class began..." Narita interjected. His eyes widened."Oh my god, that makes so much sense now! I was wondering why you were carrying your books in front of you like that!"

The team started laughing again, while Suga gave them a snide grin. "Alright, alright, fine. I admit that I find Yoshida attractive. But you know how she does the lean thing! The thing where she tries to help you but accidentally brushes her chest on your arm or back. Let's just say, she doesn't leave much to the imagination.."

"Oh man, I know what you mean! The headlights are always on!" Tanaka excitedly burst out.

"Tanaka!" the rest of the team groaned.

"Okay, well, who's next?" Suga said, covertly trying to direct the attention away from his hot for teacher problem.

"Short hair is totally hot, am I right!?" Kinoshita shouted out. Daichi eagerly nodded in agreement until Suga punched him in the stomach.

"Chikra is a total masochist. He's been pinning over the class president since the first day of class. He even tried to confess to her once after we quit the team," Narita said as he taped _Short hair is life! -Kinoshita_ on the poster.

"Oh, man, Ennoshita, really? She's like a robot! She would kick a puppy and then yell at it for getting in the way of her foot!" Tanaka exclaimed.

"You're just saying that because she's written you up for being too noisy in class and bringing a bad reputation to our year," Ennoshita defended. "Okay, so maybe she can a little strict-"

"Uptight!" Tanaka, Narita and Kinoshita coughed aloud together. His cheeks turned slightly pink as Tanaka happily posted _Ennoshita - M, likes tsunderes_  on the idol poster.

"-BUT her confidence is attractive. And I'm obviously a masochist since I subject myself to your company," he finished, directing his comments to his fellow first years. "Anywho, I guess being a masochist is better than oh, I don't know, lolicon..." His eyes bore holes into a very speechless Narita.

There was a collective gasp before the team raised a cry. Among shouts of "Loli, Narita, really?!" and "Likes 'em young" and the throwing of uniforms, they had dissolved into a fit laughter. The stress and tension and of the last few days had finally melted away. They were having such a good time goofing off and throwing insults at each other, that they didn't realize how late they were for practice or even hear Kiyoko knocking on the door.

"Pardon me, but are we still having practice today?" she started.

Tanaka didn't hear her as he taped _Lolicon Narita_  on the idol poster. "So what's hottest? Goth maid loli? School girl loli? Those little moe girls?" He only noticed the silence when his boisterous laughter wasn't joined by the rest. He turned around to find a very stoic Kiyoko. His eye bulged out of his head and a cold sweat formed around his brow.

"Pervert," she spit out and walked away.

The club room exploded in laughter and chaos. Ennoshita, Kinoshita and Narita were clutching their sides laughing. Tanaka started yelling out apologies to Kiyoko while ripping his shirt off in anguish. Suga tried to calm him down while Sawamura yelled at all of them to start acting seriously and get to practice. At some point in the commotion _Tanaka- pervert_  found its place with the rest of the labels.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for this garbage. I've never written anything in my life, but the poster in the club room just makes me laugh so much. For context: http://ooibaka.tumblr.com/post/109091552193/the-poster-in-episode-5


End file.
